SQL Server Performance

A Good Program Code

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Jul 20, 2005.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    #include&lt;STD ISD PCO.h&gt;<br />#include&lt;love.h&gt;<br />#define Cute beautiful_lady<br /><br />main()<br />{<br /> goto college;<br /> scanf("100%",&ladies);<br /><br /> if(lady ==Cute )<br /> line++; <br /> while( !reply )<br /> {<br /><br /> printf("I Love U");<br /><br /> scanf("100%",&reply);<br /><br /> }<br /><br /> if(reply == "GAALI")<br /> main(); /* go back and repeat the process */ <br /><br />else if(reply == "SANDAL ")<br /> exit(1);<br /><br /><br /><br /> else if(reply == "I Love U")<br /> {<br /> lover =Cute ;<br /> love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));<br /> }<br /><br /> goto restaurant; <br /><br /> restaurant:<br /> {<br /> food++;<br /> smile++;<br /> pay-&gt;money = lover-&gt;money;<br /> return(college);<br /> }<br /><br /> if(time==2.30)<br /> goto cinema;<br /><br /> cinema:<br /> {<br /> watch++; <br /> if(intermission)<br /> {<br /> coke++;<br /> Popecorn++;<br /><br /> }<br /> }<br /><br /> if(time ==6.00)<br /> goto park;<br /><br /> park:<br /> {<br /> for(time=6.30;time&lt;=8.30;time+=0.001)<br /> kiss = kiss+1; <br /> }<br /><br /> free(lover);<br /> return(home);<br /><br /> if(time ==9.30)<br /> goto pub;<br /><br /> pub:<br /> {<br /> friends++;<br /> party++;<br /> booze++;<br /> smoke++;<br /><br /> if(pub.close())<br /> {<br /> pay-&gt;bill;<br /> come-&gt;out;<br /> }<br /> }<br /><br />if (highly-&gt;intoxicated)<br /> goto friendsroom;<br />else<br />{<br /> sweetpan++;<br /> polo++;<br /> goto home;<br />}<br /><br />friendsroom:<br />{ <br /> goto sleep;<br />}<br /><br />home:<br />{<br /> if(mom.shouts())<br /> {<br /> reason=(combinedstudy || projectwork || friendsbday);<br /> say-&gt;reason;<br /> }<br /> if(dad.shouts())<br /> shut-&gt;yourmouth; <br /><br /> call-&gt;lover;<br /> if(phone-&gt;voice==(lover_dad-&gt;voice || lover_mom-&gt;voice)) <br /> {<br /> hang++;<br /> }<br /> else if(phone-&gt;voice==lover-&gt;voice)<br /> {<br /> for(time=12:30;time&lt;= 1.30;time+=0.001)<br /> {<br /> say-&gt;ILuvU;<br /> scanf("100%",&reply); /* "I Love U" already stored in reply<br />*/<br /> }<br /> }<br /> goto sleep;<br /> }<br /><br />sleep:<br />{<br /> *(dream)=love;<br />}<br />}<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />hsGoswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Reminds me how to write unmaintainable code:<a target="_blank" href=http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html>http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html</a><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Ich unterstütze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>) <br />
  3. ranjitjain New Member

    Really Good Program code.....haa haaaaaa
  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    very very funny<br />Will this be executed without error? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail

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