SQL Server Performance

A Thursday Funny

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by bradmcgehee, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. bradmcgehee New Member

    My wife, who is from Mexico, received the following. She translated it for all of us to enjoy. This must have been written by a women. Do you think my wife is dropping me a subtle hint?


    Hombre Virus: Cuando menos lo esperas, se instala en tu departamento y va apoderándose de todos tus espacios. Si intentas desinstalarlo, vas a perder muchas cosas; si no lo intentas, las pierdes todas.
    Virus Man: When you least expect it, he installs himself in your apartment, taking over all space. If you try to uninstall him, you will loose many things; if you don#%92t, you will loose them all.


    Hombre Internet: Hay que pagar para tener acceso a él.
    Internet Man: You have to pay to have access to him.


    Hombre Servidor: Siempre está ocupado cuando lo necesitas.
    Server Man: Always busy when you need him.


    Hombre Windows: Sabes que tiene muchos fallos, pero no puedes vivir sin él.
    Windows Man: He knows he has many errors, but you can#%92t live without him.


    Hombre PowerPoint: Ideal para presentarlo a gente en fiestas, convenciones, etc.
    PowerPoint Man: Ideal for showing him off at parties, conventions, etc.


    Hombre Excel: Dicen que hace muchas cosas, pero tu tan sólo lo utilizas para la operación básica.
    Excel Man: He says he does a lot of things, but you end up using him just for the basic stuff.


    Hombre Word: Siempre tiene una sorpresa reservada para ti y no existe nadie en el mundo que lo comprenda totalmente.
    Word Man: He always has a little surprise reserved for you and there is no one in the world who understands him completely.


    Hombre D.O.S.: Todas lo tuvieron algún día, pero ahora nadie lo quiere.
    DOS Man: All had him at one point in the past, but now, nobody wants him.


    Hombre Backup: Tu crees que tiene lo suficiente, pero a la hora del "vamos a ver", le falta algo.
    Backup Man: You think he has all the necessary stuff, but at the moment of truth, he is missing something.


    Hombre Scandisk: Sabemos que es bueno y que sólo quiere ayudar, pero en el fondo nadie sabe lo que realmente está haciendo.
    Scandisk Man: We know he is good, and that he only wants to help, but deep inside nobody knows what he is doing.


    Hombre Salvapantallas: No sirve para nada, pero te divierte.
    Screensaver Man: He is a good for nothing, but he#%92s fun.


    Hombre Paintbrush: Puro adobito y nada de sustancia.
    Paintbrush Man: Good for barbeque but no substance.


    Hombre RAM: Olvida todo apenas se desconecta.
    RAM Man: Forgets everything right after disconnecting.


    Hombre Disco Duro: Se acuerda de todo, todo el tiempo.
    Hard Disk Man: Remembers everything, all the time.


    Hombre Mouse: Funciona sólo cuando es arrastrado.
    Mouse Man: Works only when he is dragged.


    --------------------------------
    Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP
    http://www.sqlbrad.com
  2. Luis Martin Moderator

    Amazing!!!![<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />My favorite: Word Man.[xx(]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided �AS IS� with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  3. joechang New Member

    i think you need to take her for a nice dinner

    normally i would also say a good vacation to a far away exotic place
    but i think you already handled that
  4. FrankKalis Moderator

    Might be that your wife somehow indicates that you should spend less time in front of that machines when you're at home. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  5. ranjitjain New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]very true[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  6. bradmcgehee New Member

    Actually, I have a special get-away weekend planned for this weekend. Wish me luck. <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';-)' /><br /><br />--------------------------------<br />Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlbrad.com>http://www.sqlbrad.com</a>
  7. Luis Martin Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by bradmcgehee</i><br /><br />Actually, I have a special get-away weekend planned for this weekend. Wish me luck. <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';-)' /><br /><br />--------------------------------<br />Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlbrad.com>http://www.sqlbrad.com</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Don't forget to by flowers[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />].<br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  8. bradmcgehee New Member

    Darn it, I did forget. But I think I have made up for it otherwise with expensive meals.

    --------------------------------
    Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP
    http://www.sqlbrad.com

Share This Page