SQL Server Performance

Baby

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ranjitjain, Jun 2, 2006.

  1. ranjitjain New Member

    1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. [B)] <br /><br /> 2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.[:0] <br /><br /> 3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. [^] <br /><br /> 4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />] <br /><br /> 5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />!]<br /><br /> 6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br /> 7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. [:I]<br /><br /> <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-11.gif' alt='8)' /> Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. <br /><br /> And lastly .................. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /> 9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] lol<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a>
  3. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  4. smy New Member

    Agreed with that! haha.. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br />TGIF!!!
  5. mmarovic Active Member

    I had an IT director (and women on top of that) who thought 1) [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]
  6. joechang New Member

    as long as she didn't ask you to do it, i would let this slide
  7. Luis Martin Moderator

    Very good one!!!!!

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
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  8. ghemant Moderator

    LOL <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />
  9. mmarovic Active Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by joechang</i><br /><br />as long as she didn't ask you to do it, i would let this slide<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />She didn't ask me literaly that, but close enough [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]
  10. dineshasanka Moderator

    Old one, but good to remind

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  11. vbkenya New Member

    Good one. But where is the DBA in that list? Doesn't the DBA think that the woman is too slow? 9 months! What would Satya suggest for optimizing this query?

    Nathan H. Omukwenyi
    MVP [SQL Server]
  12. satya Moderator

    LOL<br />Nathan... the baby you're referring will be the DBA [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]and will be way ahead to prove all the ones are wrong.<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided �AS IS� with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>

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