SQL Server Performance

Becoming Illegal

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by Luis Martin, May 25, 2007.

  1. Luis Martin Moderator

    Becoming Illegal
    (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

    The Honorable Tom Harkin
    731 Hart Senate Office Building
    Phone (202) 224 3254
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Harkin,

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accou ntant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

    Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert

    Burlington, IA

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  2. DilliGrg Member

    <br />Where did you get this kind of stuff? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />] Looks pretty real to me.<br /><br /><pre id="code"><font face="courier" size="2" id="code"><br /><br />Name<br />--------- <br />Dilli Grg <br /><br />(1 row(s) affected)<br /></font id="code"></pre id="code">
  3. Luis Martin Moderator

    From England friend.


    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  4. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor, Writer & Forum Moderator<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sql-server-performance.com>http://www.sql-server-performance.com</a><br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  5. MohammedU New Member

    It is interesting letter...
    In US some people are very angry about this immigration issue....
    It is very sensitive topic....



    MohammedU.
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.
  6. ndinakar Member

    It does bring out some irony though [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />***********************<br />Dinakar Nethi<br />SQL Server MVP<br />***********************<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/dinakar/>http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/dinakar/</a>
  7. joechang New Member

    stupid complainers

    my understanding is most illegals use a phony social security number to work
    just make up any 9 digit number

    if they make $7/hr, thats $14K per year
    on which the IRS gets about $2K/year in social security and medicare that they will never have to payout
    if there are 20M illegals, that $20B/yr the government collects with no obligations

    also figure they have some Federal and state withholdings on top

    the standard deduction is 10K for married, + 3.3K per exemption,
    so the net is they have squat for tax liability, yet they never file to get the withholdings back

    this is why our government tries to do as little as they can about illegals
    they are quite happy collecting FICA for which they have no obligations
    and any extra taxes

  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />this is why our government tries to do as little as they can about illegals<br />they are quite happy collecting FICA for which they have no obligations <br />and any extra taxes<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />uhoh, is that politically correct? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor, Writer & Forum Moderator<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sql-server-performance.com>http://www.sql-server-performance.com</a><br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  9. DilliGrg Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />this is why our government tries to do as little as they can about illegals<br />they are quite happy collecting FICA for which they have no obligations <br />and any extra taxes<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />uhoh, is that politically correct? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor, Writer & Forum Moderator<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sql-server-performance.com>http://www.sql-server-performance.com</a><br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Probably NOT but that's the reality.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><pre id="code"><font face="courier" size="2" id="code"><br /><br />Name<br />--------- <br />Dilli Grg <br /><br />(1 row(s) affected)<br /></font id="code"></pre id="code">
  10. Luis Martin Moderator

    I just post what I get.

    Next time I have to "thing again" (My old boss have that quote on his desk).

    If anyone feel bad, just tell me and I delete it.

    BTW: We have about 10 illegal people each day in our country. According goverment the idea is: Make some money (thats means spend 1 year here) and fly to USA.



    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  11. satya Moderator

    This problem is sensitive & policital and no country is exception with this problem.

    Luis
    Good to discuss real-life problems as well rather than simply poking fun on other issues, leave it as it is.

    Satya SKJ
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com
    This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing. Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information on it.
  12. Raulie New Member

    stupid complainers

    This is my outlook on the topic of illegal Aliens.

    Back in the 1800 hundreds the larger part of the West (California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico and Utah)use to be once upon a time Mexico. The United States entered ILLEGALLY and seized this land from LEGAL Mexicans during 1846-1848, so what these illegal aliens are now doing does not even compare.

    Don't get me wrong I am not saying two wrongs make a right but some times it is good to give a histoy check.

    Bless America

    Raulie



Share This Page