SQL Server Performance

Best Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    Dog Watch

    Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"
    Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
    =========================================================================================
    The Boss

    A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
    "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
    The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
    "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
    The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his
    boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
    "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

    "Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."
    ==========================================================================================
    Time

    SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
    MAN: "It's 3:15."
    SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the
    weirdest thing, I
    have
    been asking that question all day, and each time I get
    a different
    answer."
    =========================================================================================
    The Burnt Ears

    One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.

    He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear."

    The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"

    He said "That same stupid guy called again"

    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant@gmail.com
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami
  2. Luis Martin Moderator

    The boss[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)
  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  5. chaloner New Member

    Hemant the SURD joke was real good.

    cheers
    Pali


    Everything happens for your own good.

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