SQL Server Performance

Database errors dubbed into dialy life

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    Q. What if your Dad loses his car keys?<br />A. 'Parent keys not found!'<br /><br />Q. What if your old girl friend spots you with your new one?<br />A. 'Duplicate value on index!'<br /><br />Q. What if the golf ball doesn't get into the hole at all?<br />A. 'Value larger than specified precision!'<br /><br />Q. What if you try to freak out with somebody else's girlfriend and being kicked out?<br />A. 'Insufficient privileges on the specified object!'<br /><br />Q. What if you don't get any response from the girl next door?<br />A. 'No data found!' or ' Query caused no rows retrieved!'<br /><br />Q. What if you get response from the girl next door and her Mom too?<br />A. 'SELECT INTO returns too many rows!'<br /><br />Q. What if you dial a wrong number?<br />A. 'Invalid number' or ' Object doesn't exist!'<br /><br />Q. What if you try to beat your own trumpet?<br />A. 'Object is found mutating!'<br /><br />Q. What if you are too late to office and the boss catches you?<br />A. 'Discrete transaction failed!'<br /><br />Q. What if you see 'theatre full' when you go to a movie?<br />A. 'Maximum number of users exceeded!'<br /><br />Q. What if you don't get table in the lunch room?<br />A. 'System out of tablespace!'<br /><br />Q. What if you need to go on a diet?<br />A. Invalid Body Size<br /><hr noshade size="1"><br />(these bits are forwarded by one of my friend, don't know the origin of these jokes)[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com/forum>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com/forum</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided “AS IS” with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    <br />Really funny <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />Here is a Software Husband<br /> <br />Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now logged in."<br /> <br />Wife : Have you brought the ring ?<br />Husband : Bad command or filename.<br /> <br />Wife : But I told you in the morn...<br />Husband : Erroneous syntax.<br /> <br />Wife : What about my new blouse ?<br />Husband : Variable not found ...<br /> <br />Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.<br />Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...<br /> <br />Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?<br />Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...<br /> <br />Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.<br />Husband : Data type mismatch.<br /> <br />Wife : You are a useless nut.<br />Husband : Default Parameter.<br /> <br />Wife : What about your Salary ?<br />Husband : Access denied. File in use...<br /> <br />Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?<br />Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail

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