SQL Server Performance

Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by avinashram, Oct 27, 2006.

  1. avinashram New Member

    Njoy!

    Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

    INFOSYSism
    You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking

    WIPROism
    GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

    DELLism
    Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

    IBMism
    You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen

    MICROSOFTism
    You Have a Cow. Force the World to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows

    INTELism
    Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast.

    SUNism
    You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

    ORACLEism
    You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

    SAPism
    You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

    APPLEism
    You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

    SONYism
    You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

    CITIBANKism
    Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

    HPism
    You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

    GEism
    You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

    RELIANCEism
    You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    Brilliant. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  3. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  5. ramkumar.mu New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

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