SQL Server Performance

F F again.....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Sep 23, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year.
    Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there
    airplane."

    And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride
    costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

    This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha,
    I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get
    another chance."

    Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and
    ten dollars is ten dollars."

    The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.
    I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire
    ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word
    it's ten dollars."

    Stumpy and Martha agree and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of
    twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all
    his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot
    turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you
    to yell out, but you didn't."

    Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but
    ten dollars is ten dollars."

    A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you re-marry?"

    After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need
    companionship."

    "If I died and you re-married," the wife asks, "would she live in this
    house?"

    "We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want
    it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would."

    "If I died and you re-married, and she lived in this house," the wife
    asks, "would she sleep in our bed?"

    "Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It's going to
    last a long time, so I guess she would."

    "If I died and you re-married, and she lived in this house and slept
    in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?"

    "Oh, no," the husband replies. "She's left-handed."

    sent by a friend
    I am reminded of a real life incident of about 10
    years ago. I was working in a wall street investment
    bank when someone from the information technology
    group came by our office asking us to enter our
    passwords in the new software system. My colleague
    Barry with his usual rebellious attitude entered the
    password "Pe*is". We all fell on the floor with
    laugher when the computer replied:
    *** PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT *****
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    Very nice [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. ghemant Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri Goswami<br />

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