SQL Server Performance

Friday again....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Nov 3, 2006.

  1. satya Moderator

    For Cricket lovers:

    There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour.

    So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a lawyer.

    But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court.

    It was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”
    Kid said,”No, mummy beats me”

    So the judge asked
    “Then, would you like to stay with your dad then ?”
    Kid said, “No, dad beats me”


    Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do…after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child……And he gave the judgment that……
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    .
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    The kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they

    NEVER BEAT ANY BODY!!

    One liners that are fun to read...

    1. Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.
    2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
    3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
    4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
    5. A child#%92s greatest period of growth is the month after you#%92ve purchased new school uniforms.
    6. Don#%92t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
    7. Don#%92t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you#%92ll regret it later.
    8. You can#%92t buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
    9. True friends stab you in the front.
    10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
    11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
    12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
    13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I#%92m wrong and she agrees with me.
    14. Those who can#%92t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
    15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
    16. It doesn#%92t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
    17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
    18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
    19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
    20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  3. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  4. mmarovic Active Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Many inspired people this weekend...
  5. chiragkhabaria New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />I loved this one <br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Chirag<br /><br /<a target="_blank" href=http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/>http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/</a>
  6. ghemant Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">It doesn#%92t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />------------------------<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com>http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com</a>
  7. ramkumar.mu New Member

    Really Good ones [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br />ROTFL<br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

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