SQL Server Performance

Friday fun---- again!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Jul 22, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

    "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

    Why is Superman stupid?
    Because he wears his underwear over his pants.

    Why is Batman more stupid?
    Because he wears his underwear over his pants and puts on a belt over his underwear.

    Why is Robin even more stupid?
    Because he followed what batman did.

    Why is Wonder Woman stupid?
    Because she wears a belt on her head.

    Why is Spiderman the most stupid superhero of them all?
    Because he wears his underwear over his head.

    AUDI
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

    BMW
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster

    BUICK
    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

    CHEVROLET
    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

    DODGE
    Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
    Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

    FIAT
    Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
    Fix It All the Time
    Fix It Again, Tony!

    FORD
    First On Recall Day
    First On Rust and Deterioration
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Found On Road, Dead
    Fault Of Research & Development
    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA
    backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot

    GM
    General Maintenance

    GMC
    Garage Man`s Companion
    Got A Mechanic Coming?

    HONDA
    Had One, Never Did Again
    Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else

    HYUNDAI
    Hope You Understand Nothing`s Dr And Inexpensive

    MAZDA
    Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

    OLDSMOBILE
    Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
    Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

    SAAB
    Send Another Automobile Back
    Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

    TOYOTA
    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

    VOLVO
    Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

    VW
    Virtually Worthless
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. ghemant Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />hsGoswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />
  4. ranjitjain New Member

    I need this kind of little fun on friday............heeeeeeee[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]

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