SQL Server Performance

Friday Humor

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ChrisFretwell, Oct 8, 2004.

  1. ChrisFretwell New Member

    (its also the Friday before a long weekend in Canada - yipee!!!)

    TWO MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
    LESSON 1
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
    The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
    MANAGEMENT LESSON
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
    LESSON 2
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
    Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
    MANAGEMENT LESSON
    Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
    LESSON 3
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
    MANAGEMENT LESSON
    (1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy.
    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
    (3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
    THIS ENDS YOUR 2 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
  2. Luis Martin Moderator

    Amazing!!!!!

    BTW:Why the humans we used the animals to show our miseries?

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.

  3. FrankKalis Moderator

  4. Luis Martin Moderator

    "psychopaths were found in all professions".
    I don't remember what movie was, but I layer said something like that:
    "I don't go to Las Vegas, why to play for money, when we can play with lifes?"



    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.

  5. satya Moderator

    Lesson 2 is a real life... factor.

    I don't remember what movie was, but I layer said something like that:
    "I don't go to Las Vegas, why to play for money, when we can play with lifes?"


    I think its God Father...

    Satya SKJ
    Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com/forum
    This posting is provided “AS IS” with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing.
  6. Luis Martin Moderator

    I remember know: Primal Fear.

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.

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