SQL Server Performance

How to identify Software Engineer

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    1. He/She never bargains... No wonderthings have become so costly!
    2. When a cab/buspasses by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven'tslept for years...
    3. Dilbert or Calvinis their favorite cartoon...
    4. Words like issues,tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub itoff], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones thatwould be used by 'default'...
    5. Weekends are holywords... they are like a salvation one seeks for...
    6. "Wazzzup","Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted withwhich would be immediately followed by "how's work?"
    7. Salaries, work etc arealways better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she iscurrently in...
    8. They don't send ortake things... they always forward them!
    9. Drinking coffee isthe most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day...
    10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do...When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes tomy mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room" J
    11. Mondays are always blue...
    12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and thatsomething would never be what they are doing right now...
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

  3. ndinakar Member

    >>They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do... When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room
    I really wish for this..
  4. satya Moderator

    [:D] LOL to add up...here is the fun version of "WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?" aka "KAUN BANEGA.. " in India: [hr]
    Silicon Valley's newest game show : Who Wants to Marry a Software Engineer? Hot on the heels of the success of the show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire", welcome to "Who Wants to Marry a Software Engineer".
    Here's your contestant questionnaire ...
    1) What quality do you value most in your partner?
    a) A sense of humor.
    b) Emotional maturity.
    c) High bandwidth.
    2) When you get home at the end of the day, you like to:
    a) Turn on the Silicon Valley Business report, and eat dinner.
    b) Hook up to your ISP, and check out the hit count on your web page.
    c) Recharge your cell phone, laptop, and wireless modem, change batteries on your pager, and synchronize your Palm Pilot and home computer.
    3) Your ideal partner is:
    a) Interesting and attractive.
    b) Emotionally mature and understanding.
    c) Extensible and polymorphic.
    4) In spiritually difficult times, you often turn to:
    a) Dilbert.
    b) Kernighan and Ritchie.
    c) comp.lang.c++
    5) If go over to your partner's place and think it's a mess, you would:
    a) Complain to him/her, and tell them to tidy up.
    b) Call a maid service.
    c) make clean
    6) What kind of car would you like to buy next, and why?
    a) A BMW, because people will see that I am rich and successful.
    b) A Jeep, because it's youthful, rugged, and won't break down.
    c) A Honda, because the engine control computer can be hacked for more horsepower.
    7) If your partner comes home from work complaining bitterly about his/her boss, you will:
    a) Give a hug, pour a drink, and tell your partner that you love him/her.
    b) Commiserate about how unfair managers can be.
    c) Forge the boss's e-mail address, and subscribe him/her to 17 pornography mailing lists.
    8) Name the 4 essential food groups:
    a) Fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy.
    b) Coffee, chocolate, takeout, ice cream.
    c) rec.food.cooking, rec.food.veg, ba.food, alt.food.chocolate
    9) You like to travel with your partner because:
    a) You share new experiences together.
    b) You learn about each other in different situations.
    c) You get more use out of your wireless modem.
    10) How would you describe your attitude towards religion?
    a) "I'm not particularly religious."
    b) "I believe in emacs, but can use vi."
    c) "I think emacs can be configured as a full IDE."
    11) You think a relationship is ready for a permanent commitment because:
    a) You've successfully struggled through several years of good and bad times.
    b) You're already living together, so you might as well tie the knot.
    c) You finally got your local network configured just right.
    12) If you and your partner got married, you would want to:
    a) Keep your last name.
    b) Change your last name.
    c) Combine your names with a hyphen.
    d) Combine your names with an underscore.
    13) You and your partner think it's time to have children when:
    a) Your stock options are vested.
    b) You've agreed on the requirements and design.
    c) You've come up with a good naming convention.
    d) You really understand the use of multiple inheritance

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