Humour at its Best...

A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
friends.


A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Aqua Fina and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC


What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.



If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.


Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.


When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


Thanks,
Ram

"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

I guess women translate the above thing by replacing all 'men' with 'women' in favour of women [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt='' />] <br /><br />Except the last thing...[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />]<br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

Too good[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />]

quote:
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.

Well I've heard slightly different version. However, I understand you couldn't post it.

fortunately i am single...(now how to react for that statement with a smiley?) actually this message was forwarded by one of my (girl)friends... but thanks for that warning satya. unlike other programmers i will take that warning as an error-in-future and marry a girl who by any means doesnt know about SSP or internet if possible [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt='' />]<br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />Ram<br />If you are married already or have a girlfriend then make sure she doesn't read this thread...otherwise consequences will be terrible for you [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt='' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt='' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

i think there may come a day when ram will urgently ask to purge all copies of this post and others

Thanks for the warning...[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />] I'll count on that...[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt='' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt='' />]<br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."

for a small exhorbitat fee, satya could be persuaded to miss his flight to your wedding

and how much for refraining him from sending the grand gift???

Thanks,
Ram

"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."