SQL Server Performance

jokes to share

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by smy, Apr 3, 2006.

  1. smy New Member

    Encountered in real life:

    An IT guy had been guiding a non-IT user on how to install a software over the phone..

    After finishing installing...
    IT guy: shut your windows and restart your computer again
    non-IT user: ok...be right back...

    After a few minutes...
    non-IT user: I'm back...will restart my computer now...

    After restarting computer...
    IT guy: ok, now you can start to use the program. anymore help needed?
    non-IT user: (after pondering for quite some time) hmm...well..no... ...but can I open my windows now? my room is getting heaty now...
    IT guy: **stunned** (-_-)
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><pre id="code"><font face="courier" size="2" id="code"><br />Non IT Guy : System doesnt work<br />IT guy : Restart it<br />Non IT Guy : (switches off the monitor and switches on it)<br /> I did but same problem <br /></font id="code"></pre id="code"><br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    Guys, I wish I were at your location! Seems to be already Friday there. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)
  4. chaloner New Member

    A good one!!

    cheers
    Pali


    Everything happens for your own good.
  5. Luis Martin Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />Guys, I wish I were at your location! Seems to be already Friday there. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]I have to look my calendar but unfortunally is not Friday yet!!!<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  6. Madhivanan Moderator

    &gt;&gt;I have to look my calendar but unfortunally is not Friday yet!!!<br /><br />You can see it in other two days [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  7. Neo New Member

    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

    Customer: "Ok."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

    Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"

    Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"



    "Okey dokey... free my mind. Right, no problem, free my mind, free my mind, no problem, right... "
  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)
  9. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  10. Neo New Member

    Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." <br />Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." <br />Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." <br />Customer: "What do you mean?" <br />Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." <br />Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />"Okey dokey... free my mind. Right, no problem, free my mind, free my mind, no problem, right... "
  11. smy New Member

    that's an interesting one =p

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