SQL Server Performance

Jokes...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by chiragkhabaria, Nov 12, 2006.

  1. chiragkhabaria New Member

    In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

    Wedding Ring

    At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

    Why?

    " Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

    Same Service
    quote: My Favourite

    A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

    Love To Do

    A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

    Problem Father

    "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.


    Chirag

    http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/
  2. khtan New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font size="1">KH</font id="size1">
  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    Let me guess, the first woman was a blonde, right? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  4. chiragkhabaria New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />Let me guess, the first woman was a blonde, right? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Yea.. how did you guess that .. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Chirag<br /><br /<a target="_blank" href=http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/>http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/</a>
  5. ranjitjain New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  6. Madhivanan Moderator

    One more husband-wife joke [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  7. smy New Member

    good joke to ease a stressful day
  8. satya Moderator

    LOL, whoever are posting these 'anti-wife' related posts please keep your better-half away from this forum. Otherwise the consequences will be severe.... just kidding.

    Satya SKJ
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com
    This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing.
  9. chiragkhabaria New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />LOL, whoever are posting these 'anti-wife' related posts please keep your better-half away from this forum. Otherwise the consequences will be severe.... just kidding.<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br /><br /> Still enjoying the bachelors life.. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Chirag<br /><br /<a target="_blank" href=http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/>http://chirikworld.blogspot.com/</a>
  10. ramkumar.mu New Member

    I have a member by my side. Seems Satya's job is getting tough... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Madhivanan</i><br /><br />One more husband-wife joke [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."
  11. satya Moderator

    LOL that doesn't mean they are applicable to me, I can say I'm having married-bachelor life [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  12. ramkumar.mu New Member

    I mentioned the other discussion where you said...<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />Ram<br />Don't forget to send invitation on your marriage...as a token of gift from SSP I will print & laminate this thread for both of you .<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Since Chirag too sent the same kinda mail, you have to send one more token of gift... I wonder what you do if the list gets bigger... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />LOL that doesn't mean they are applicable to me, I can say I'm having married-bachelor life [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Thanks,<br />Ram<br /><br />"It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."
  13. satya Moderator

    <i>Since Chirag too sent the same kinda mail, you have to send one more token of gift... I wonder what you do if the list gets bigger... </i><br />Copy (Ctrl +C) and Paste (Ctrl + V) [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].

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