SQL Server Performance

Marriage Proposal - SP Style

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by rosh80, May 23, 2006.

  1. rosh80 New Member

    CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
    @BrideGroom Char(NotBad),
    @Bride Char(Good)
    AS

    SELECT Bride FROM
    tblBrides
    WHERE
    FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND
    CarCount > 2 AND
    HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' AND
    BrideEduStatus='PGorAbove'
    HavingBrothers='NO' AND
    HavingSisters ='No' AND
    AllowRelocate ='YES' AND

    SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw

    UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
    UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

  2. ranjitjain New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  3. khtan New Member

    Very Funny but a lot of error in the SP. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font size="1">KH</font id="size1">
  4. rosh80 New Member

    So Mr. Tan u see that this SP will never work <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />
  5. Madhivanan Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Did you execute that SP?<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  6. dineshasanka Moderator

    Sorry, I can't execute that SP Now

    ----------------------------------------
    http://dineshasanka.blogspot.com/
  7. Madhivanan Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by dineshasanka</i><br /><br />Sorry, I can't execute that SP Now<br /><br />----------------------------------------<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://dineshasanka.blogspot.com/>http://dineshasanka.blogspot.com/</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Permission Denied [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    <font color="red">Server: Msg 170, Level 15, State 1, Procedure MyMarriage, Line 9</font id="red"><br />Line 9: Incorrect syntax near 'Millionaire'.<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)
  9. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  10. satya Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].. execution plan says it takes 15 years to get results [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />].<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided “AS IS” with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  11. joechang New Member

    i think the result sets comes back quickly: NULL<br />especially if you apply the additional SARG: AND InterestedInYou=true<br />but there are plenty of rows for cash&lt;0, and baggage&gt;0<br /><br />the singapore 5C that properly educated girls use to rank and rate perspective groom candidates:<br />cash<br />condo<br />credit<br />car<br />carats<br /><br />notice looks and personality are absent<br />perhaps khtan can provide more info on this<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]
  12. khtan New Member

    <i>"perhaps khtan can provide more info on this"</i><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font size="1">KH</font id="size1">
  13. FrankKalis Moderator

    Be assured, such properly educated girls happen to live all around the world. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Btw, how come that a posting by joechang is edited by LuisMartin? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)
  14. joechang New Member

    khtan, is it actually "career" and not one of the above? credit?

    i think luis added the smiley faces.
    smart girls learn to be objective, and set aside personal feelings

  15. khtan New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by joechang</i><br /><br />khtan, is it actually "career" and not one of the above? credit?<br /><br />i think luis added the smiley faces.<br />smart girls learn to be objective, and set aside personal feelings<br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Are you looking for some for lifetime partner from here ? Need to make sure you have the basic requirements covered ? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br />The 5Cs are mention in this blog.<a target="_blank" href=http://commentarysingapore.blogspot.com/2006/03/5-cs-reexamined.html>http://commentarysingapore.blogspot.com/2006/03/5-cs-reexamined.html</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font size="1">KH</font id="size1">
  16. rosh80 New Member

    Wud u all be surprised if the person who posted the message happened to be a woman<br /><img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />
  17. joechang New Member

    the laws of physics are symmetric,
    on interchange of opposite parts, the results are the same
  18. smy New Member

    cool..i love that stored procedure alot!
  19. FrankKalis Moderator

    So, why should women be any different from men, when they are alone with other women?<br /><br />I firmly believe the also do this kind of talk about men and the rest... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />Ich unterstuetze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>)

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