SQL Server Performance

Men Are Just Happier People

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by Luis Martin, Sep 23, 2005.

  1. Luis Martin Moderator

    What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be Prime Minister. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
    be your friend.

    Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier...


    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important
    Bertrand Russell


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Ich unterstütze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>) <br />
  3. ghemant Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri Goswami<br />
  4. benwilson New Member

    <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /> poor women! sounds like they have such a hard time- makes you glad to be male <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />'I reject your reality and substitute my own' - Adam Savage

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