How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." [hr] The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors." [hr] There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. [hr] A software tester read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"[hr] You Might Be a Programmer if... you lust for O'Reilly books. you know that "goto considered harmful". you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke. you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin. every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you. you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary. when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".