SQL Server Performance

Old ones though, but good for a FF

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Aug 10, 2007.

  1. satya Moderator

    How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
    Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
    [hr]
    The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
    The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
    The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors." [hr]
    There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. [hr]
    A software tester read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"[hr]
    You Might Be a Programmer if...


    • you lust for O'Reilly books.
      • you know that "goto considered harmful".
        • you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke.
          • you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin.
            • every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you.
              • you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
                • when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

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