SQL Server Performance

Old ones though, but good for a FF

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Aug 10, 2007.

  1. satya Moderator

    How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
    Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
    The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
    The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
    The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors." [hr]
    There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. [hr]
    A software tester read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"[hr]
    You Might Be a Programmer if...

    • you lust for O'Reilly books.
      • you know that "goto considered harmful".
        • you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke.
          • you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin.
            • every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you.
              • you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
                • when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

Share This Page