SQL Server Performance

Perception on Consultants

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by dineshasanka, Sep 1, 2005.

  1. dineshasanka Moderator

    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture
    when suddenly a
    brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards
    him. The driver, a
    young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
    sunglasses and YSL tie,
    leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I
    tell you exactly how
    many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me
    one?"

    The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie,
    then looked at his
    peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered,
    "Sure."

    The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook
    and connected it to
    a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the
    Internet where he
    called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned
    the area, and then
    opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with
    complex formulas.

    He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few
    minutes, received a
    response. Finally, he prints out a 150 -page report
    on his hi-tech,
    miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
    says, "You have
    exactly 1586 sheep."

    "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the
    shepherd.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals
    and bundle it into
    his car.

    Then the shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly
    what your business
    is, will you give me back my sheep?"

    "OK, why not." answered the young man.

    "Clearly, you are a consultant." Said the shepherd.

    "That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you
    guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You
    turned up here
    although nobody called you. You want to get paid
    for an answer I
    already knew, to a question I never asked, and you
    don't know a crap
    about my business. Now give me back my dog."
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    Nice one [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. ghemant Moderator

    LOL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />
  4. ranjitjain New Member

    its going to be funny Friday again........<br />Ha ha ha [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]

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