SQL Server Performance

Red roses!!! You will cry.....soooo romantic.....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ranjitjain, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. ranjitjain New Member

    <br /><br />There was a boy in high school we will call Joey. One<br />day Joey leaned<br /> <br />over to the girl sitting next to him in class and<br />whispered, "Red<br /> <br />roses."<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />The shocked girl stood up, slapped Joey in the face<br />and went crying to<br /> <br />the teacher. The teacher called Joey to the desk and<br />asked what he had<br /> <br />said.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Red roses" was Joey's reply, at which the teacher<br />screamed and sent<br /> <br />poor Joey to the principal's office.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />As Joey waited in the lobby to be called in, he<br />pondered what was<br /> <br />happening to him. His thoughts where cut short by the<br />sound of the<br /> <br />secretary saying he could go in. Joey walked into the<br />office and was<br /> <br />told to take a seat, which he did.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />After telling the story of how he had been wrongly<br />accused and how he<br /> <br />knew there was some mistake, the principal smiled and<br />asked, "OK,<br /> <br />Joey, I understand. What did you say to her?" Joey was<br />sure the<br /> <br />principal would be a reasonable man and responded<br />"Red roses." you<br /> <br />could watch as the principal turned red and shouted<br />"YOU'RE EXPELLED!<br /> <br />GET OUT!"<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Joey asked to wait for the bus to take him home, since<br />he lived some<br /> <br />distance away. "NO!" Then Joey was informed that if he<br />were caught on<br /> <br />the premises again, he would be arrested for<br />trespassing.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Very distraught, Joey set out on his way home. He had<br />made it about a<br /> <br />mile down the road when Old Man Jones, the local pig<br />farmer, stopped<br /> <br />and offered a ride home. Joey, being very upset, of<br />course, accepted<br /> <br />the ride.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Not more than a mile down the road, Old Man Jones<br />asked why Joey<br /> <br />wasn't in school, so Joey told the story of the events<br />that had<br /> <br />happened that day. At the end of the story, the old<br />man said that it<br /> <br />sounded like Joey had quite a rough time of it "Oh,<br />and what did you<br /> <br />say?" Joey hesitated-- should he tell the man what he<br />said, or not? He<br /> <br />decided to tell him. "Red roses."<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />The tires squealed as the truck ground to a halt.Old<br />Man Jones reached<br /> <br />over and opened the door and pushed Joey out on his<br />ear.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Now very angry, Joey got up, brushed himself off, and<br />continued on his<br /> <br />way home. Upon arriving at home, Joey's mother, Mrs.<br />Campbell, saw<br /> <br />that her son wasn't looking too good, and asked why he<br />hadn't caught<br /> <br />the bus. Joey told her. She fixed Joey a bowl of soup<br />and then asked,<br /> <br />"Joey, dear, what on earth did you say to that little<br />girl?" Joey<br /> <br />wasn't sure what to do. He knew his mother loved him,<br />but he didn't<br /> <br />want her to have the same reaction everyone else had.<br />But he told her<br /> <br />anyway. "Red roses."<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Joey waited in his room with a bruised ego and a sore<br />bottom,<br /> <br />wondering what would happen when his father got home.<br />Six o'clock came<br /> <br />around and Joey's father got home. He could hear his<br />parents arguing<br /> <br />outside his door and then suddenly it was quiet. Mr..<br />Campbell came<br /> <br />into the room and said, "Your mother told me you had<br />some trouble at<br /> <br />school, but I told her you and I would figure it out.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />But the first thing is you have to tell me what you<br />said." "OK, Dad, I<br /> <br />said red roses'," was Joey's response. "GET OUT OF MY<br />HOUSE, YOU"RE NO<br /> <br />SON OF MINE!"<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />The next morning, Joey decided he needed to get a job.<br />It was awhile<br /> <br />before he found anyone who would hire a 15-year-old<br />who had been<br /> <br />expelled from high school and kicked out of the house.<br />But Joey wasn't<br /> <br />a quitter, and he did find a job working at a gas<br />station in a<br /> <br />neighboring town. After a few months, Joey had managed<br />to get settled<br /> <br />in his new job and had even moved into the apartment<br />over his boss'<br /> <br />garage.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />On a particularly slow day at work Joey's boss asked<br />what had happened<br /> <br />that caused everything that had happened to happen.<br />Joey went into<br /> <br />along story of emotional stress,misunderstood youth,<br />the pain of<br /> <br />having lost all of his friends and family in one<br />fateful day. The tale<br /> <br />Joey spun was so powerful; his boss was moved to tears<br />and, out of<br /> <br />compassion, offered to adopt Joey.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />With the firstsmile to cross his lips in months, Joey<br />accepted. On the<br /> <br />way to thecourtproceedings a few days later, Joey's<br />boss asked him,<br /> <br />"Exactly, what did you say to her?" Without thinking,<br />Joey replied,<br /> <br />"Red roses." His boss grew as white as a ghost and<br />said, "That was my<br /> <br />niece, you little pervert!"<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Once again, Joey was without a friend in the world.<br />The next day Joey<br /> <br />took all the money he had managed to save and bought a<br />bus ticket "to<br /> <br />wherever the farthest place from here is."<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />As he waited for his bus, a little old lady sat down<br />next to him on<br /> <br />the bench. Even though he didn't want to, she started<br />talking, and<br /> <br />before you knew it, she had heard almost the whole<br />story. But she<br /> <br />interrupted and asked what he had said."Ma'am, I said<br />'red roses'."<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Well, the words were just barely out of his mouth when<br />she started<br /> <br />beating him with her cane.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />In order to flee the fury of the old woman, he ran<br />across the road,<br /> <br />but he never made it to the other side. He was hit by<br />a speeding Mack<br /> <br />truck and he died.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />The moral of this story is:<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br />.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Always look both ways before crossing the street.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br />
  2. Luis Martin Moderator

    After a long, loooonnng read, I would like to kill you, red roses!!!!![<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important<br />Bertrand Russell<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  3. dineshasanka Moderator

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