SQL Server Performance

See whether your habit falls under this list!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Apr 20, 2007.

  1. satya Moderator

    1) You place your refrigerator beside your computer. <br />2) Tech support calls YOU for help. <br />3) You start to experience “withdrawal” after not being online for a while. <br />4) Being called a newbie is a major insult to you. <br />5) Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes. <br />6) You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead. <br />7) You block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts of the Internet. <br /><img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-11.gif' alt='8)' /> It takes you 15 minutes to scroll through your bookmarks from top to bottom. <br />9) When you check your mail and it says “no new messages”, you check again just to make sure. <br />10) You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. <br />11) You ask your doctor to implant 1 GB in your brain. <br />12) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage so you buy another computer and install a home network so you can chat. <br /><hr noshade size="1"><br />I admit 2,4,8 & 10 ... experimented the 12th one too [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    2: yes<br />8: is nothing but a matter of organization [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br />10: would love to, but am afraid of my wife [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br />12: see 10<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  3. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided �AS IS� with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  4. bradmcgehee New Member

    3, 4, 7, 8, and 9 all apply to me.

    --------------------------------
    Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP
    http://www.sqlbrad.com
  5. ghemant Moderator

    2<br />4<br />6<br />9<br />would like to experiment 10th [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />MS SQL Server MVP<br />-------------------------<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br /><br /<a target="_blank" href=http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com>http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com</a>
  6. satya Moderator

    Pretty joyful information from you [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by bradmcgehee</i><br /><br />3, 4, 7, 8, and 9 all apply to me.<br /><br />--------------------------------<br />Brad M. McGehee, SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlbrad.com>http://www.sqlbrad.com</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />
  7. MohammedU New Member

    Looks like Satya has plenty of time now a days [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />MohammedU.<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br />All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.<br />
  8. satya Moderator

    Busy man always finds time, quoted by Bill Clinton [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />] and I follow that (with no doubt).<br /><br /><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing. <hr noshade size="1">The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  9. MohammedU New Member

    I believe you follow only this quote of Bill Clinton nothing else [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />MohammedU.<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br />All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.<br />
  10. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by MohammedU</i><br /><br />I believe you follow only this quote of Bill Clinton nothing else [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />MohammedU.<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br />All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.<br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Care to expand on this? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  11. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    11. You dial zero before you dial any number.
    12. You swipe your access card before you unlock the door of your apartment.


    Roji. P. Thomas
    SQL Server MVP
    http://toponewithties.blogspot.com
  12. MohammedU New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by MohammedU</i><br /><br />I believe you follow only this quote of Bill Clinton nothing else [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />MohammedU.<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br />All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.<br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Care to expand on this? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Sorry Frank I can't [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />MohammedU.<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br />All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.<br />
  13. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  14. satya Moderator

    May be he is afraid of Bush now [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].<br /><br /><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing. <hr noshade size="1">The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>

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