SQL Server Performance

smart women

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by dineshasanka, Sep 1, 2005.

  1. dineshasanka Moderator

    WOMEN'S REVENGE

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items
    the woman wished to purchase.

    As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
    control for a television set in her purse.

    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

    "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come
    shopping with me,and I
    figured this was the most evil thing I could do to
    him legally."

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
    not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position.

    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
    the husband asked
    sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    W O R D S
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many
    words women use a day..
    30,000 to a man's 15,000.

    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
    have to repeat everything
    to men...
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
    "What?"

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CREATION
    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
    can be so stupid and
    so beautiful all at the same time.

    " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to
    me;

    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHO DOES WHAT
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee
    each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
    first, and then we dont
    have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
    around here and you should
    do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
    for my coffee."
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
    is in the Bible that
    the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
    Testament and showed him at the
    top of several pages, that it indeed
    says.........."HEBREWS"


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    THE SILENT TREATMENT

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
    other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he
    ould need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
    flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
    piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she
    would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover
    it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go
    and see why his wife hadnt wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
    by the bed.

    The paper said, It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
  2. ranjitjain New Member

    Smart hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][:0][B)][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />][:I]
  3. Madhivanan Moderator

    No doubt. Women are always clever [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  4. ghemant Moderator

    its really very funny [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />
  5. Akthar New Member

    haha[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] good one<br /><br />AKTHAR DILMOHAMUD<br />65 BENARES ST<br />PORT LOUIS<br />MAURITIUS

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