SQL Server Performance

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have
    left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
    LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you
    never get an engaged one.
    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become
    coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll
    to the least accessible corner.
    LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late
    for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning
    you will have a flat tire.
    BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the
    telephone rings.
    LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone
    you know increases when you are with someone you don't
    want to be seen with.
    LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone
    that a machine won't work, it will!
    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is
    inversely proportional to the reach.
    THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest
    from the aisle arrive last.
    LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of
    hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
    which will last until the coffee is cold.



    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant@gmail.com
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami
  2. smy New Member

    haha..I like that! What about LAW OF IT?
  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a>
  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  5. ranjitjain New Member

    Good to let us all know these laws which Newton forgot giving to the world.
  6. khtan New Member

    LAW OF COFFEE
    Absolutely TRUE ! No doubt about it.


    KH
  7. FrankKalis Moderator

    ...and still we test each morning. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a>
  8. mmarovic Active Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  9. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />

Share This Page