SQL Server Performance

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have
    left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
    LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you
    never get an engaged one.
    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become
    coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll
    to the least accessible corner.
    LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late
    for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning
    you will have a flat tire.
    BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the
    telephone rings.
    LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone
    you know increases when you are with someone you don't
    want to be seen with.
    LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone
    that a machine won't work, it will!
    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is
    inversely proportional to the reach.
    THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest
    from the aisle arrive last.
    LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of
    hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
    which will last until the coffee is cold.



    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant@gmail.com
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  2. smy New Member

    haha..I like that! What about LAW OF IT?
    smy, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a>
    FrankKalis, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
    Madhivanan, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  5. ranjitjain New Member

    Good to let us all know these laws which Newton forgot giving to the world.
    ranjitjain, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  6. khtan New Member

    LAW OF COFFEE
    Absolutely TRUE ! No doubt about it.


    KH
    khtan, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  7. FrankKalis Moderator

    ...and still we test each morning. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a>
    FrankKalis, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  8. mmarovic Active Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
    mmarovic, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

  9. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
    Luis Martin, Jun 6, 2006
    #2

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