SQL Server Performance

Some Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Mar 17, 2006.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    I know some are old ones but always worth us a laugh

    1.
    Tom: I have'nt slept all night in the train.
    Friend: why?
    Tom: Got upper berth.
    Friend: why did'nt you exchnged the birth?
    Tom: there was nobody to exchnge in the lower berth...

    2.
    A Teacher lecturing on population - In world after Every 10 second a
    woman gives birth to a kid.
    A Tom stands up- we must find & stop her!.

    3.
    Tom-why are all these people running?
    Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
    Tom-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

    4.
    Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
    Tom: The future tense is "you will go to jail".

    5.
    Tom gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
    branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Tom:"I've been
    promoted as branch manager."

    6.
    Tom was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
    to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought
    he wrote : Yes!

    7.
    Once Tom asked a plumber to come to his college. you know Why?
    Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

    8.
    Tom told his servant: Go and water the plants.
    Servant: It"s already raining.
    Tom: So what? take an umbrella and go.

    9.
    Tom found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What
    came first, Chicken or egg?
    what ever you order first will come first.

    10.
    Tom wins 20 million $ from 20 $ lottery ticket. Dealer gave
    11 million $ after deducting tax.
    Angry Tom: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 $ back.!

    11.
    Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
    Tom:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it....

    12.
    Tom proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to
    you'...........
    Tom said 'no problem , I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

    13.
    Tom at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is
    what you call modern art ?
    Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

    14.
    Tom was writing something very slowly.
    Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly?
    Tom: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant@gmail.com
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami
  2. satya Moderator

    <i>13.<br />Tom at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is<br />what you call modern art ?<br />Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!</i><br />A classy one.. LOL [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided “AS IS” with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  3. Madhivanan Moderator

    14<br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail

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