SQL Server Performance


Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ghemant, Jul 28, 2005.

  1. ghemant Moderator

    You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable,or get married and wish you were dead." <br /> - W.W. Renwick <br /><br />************************* <br />Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. <br /><br />************************* <br />At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing <br />your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." <br /><br />************************* <br />After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I <br />married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." <br /><br />************************* <br />A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:"Husband wanted". Next day she <br />received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." * <br /><br />************************ <br />The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a <br />man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?" <br /><br />************************* <br />When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let <br />her keep him. <br /><br />********************* <br />Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. <br /><br />************************* <br />Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. <br /><br />************************* <br />A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get <br />married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." <br /><br />************************* <br />Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know <br />his wife until he marries her? <br />Dad: That happens in every country,son. <br /><br />************************* <br />Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got rried; by then it was too late." <br /><br />************************* <br />A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire. <br />"So what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. <br />The woman replied, "A billionaire." <br /><br />************************* <br />Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. <br />A Second Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. <br /><br />************************* <br />If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. <br /><br />************************* <br />Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. <br /><br />************************* <br />You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on wednesday nights, and so does she. <br /><br />************************* <br />According to the test surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing. <br /><br />************************* <br />How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free. <br /><br />************************* * <br />First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy:"You're lucky, mine's still alive! <br /><br /><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><br />hsGoswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    Hey, aren't you "just married"? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />] Welcome to the "club" [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Ich unterstütze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>) <br />
  3. ghemant Moderator

    Yes Sir, <br />i am just married and thanx for welcoming in the club.<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][:I]<br /><br />hsGoswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemant Goswami<br />

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