SQL Server Performance

Top 10 Signs you hired the wrong SQL DBA

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    What not to look for when you are hiring a SQL DBA or When to consider replacing your DBA


    • 10. They can#%92t understand why changing column names break the application
      9. Think performance tuning = buy better hardware
      8. Believe a Stored Procedure which compiles is production ready
      7. Forcefully argue that indexing every field in the databases is the best way to increase performance (right after buying better hardware)
      6. They prefix all stored procs with ‘sp_#%92 – so as to be consistent with the Microsoft naming convention
      5. Thinks 9 hours to copy one million records across databases is ‘good performance#%92
      4. Thinks a stored procedure is the best way to copy one million records across databases.
      3. Is convinced that the error generated by trying to insert a duplicate primary key value, is a bug in SQL
      2. Thinks adding a new column to a table is a four step process: create a new table, copy all the data over, drop the old table, and rename the new table.
      1. Believe that adding a foreign key constraint with the ‘Enforce Relationship#%92 checkbox unchecked is the best of both worlds, it defines relationships without having to deal with ‘those pesky constraint errors#%92 when modifying data.

    Sourcehttp://odetocode.com/Humor/91.aspx


  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. ranjitjain New Member

    All corporates hiring DBA's should keep watch on these 10 tips.
  4. Akthar New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />AKTHAR
  5. ghemant Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri Goswami<br />
  6. x002548 New Member

    I don't know...I kinda agree with #2..though it depends on the size...I might substitute "copy" with bcp....

    It's bee shown in at l;east 2k, that Alter impacts the data pages quite bad.

    Cursors...you left out cursors...




    Brett

    :cool:

    Hint: Want your questions Answered Fast? Read Below
    http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
  7. Adriaan New Member

    quote:Originally posted by x002548

    I don't know...I kinda agree with #2..though it depends on the size...I might substitute "copy" with bcp....

    It's bee shown in at l;east 2k, that Alter impacts the data pages quite bad.

    Cursors...you left out cursors...




    Brett

    :cool:

    Hint: Want your questions Answered Fast? Read Below
    http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
    Hey Brett, about #2 ... you might be forgetting that you're not adding a column to a table per se, but to a database as a whole. The table might be referenced in a FK relationship, it might be referred to in stored procedures and/or functions and/or views, etc. etc. It's not the size, it's the references ...

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