SQL Server Performance

Unprejudiced content on Earth

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    <b>Its <font color="red"><font size="3">tough</font id="size3"></font id="red"> being a Man</b><br /><br />If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male diehard. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. <br /><br />If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work hard, you're a good-for-nothing bum.<br /><br />If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, that is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your arse and find something better. <br /><br />If you get a job or a promotion ahead of her, that is favoUritism. If she gets one ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.<br /><br />If she gets paid, she says, "That's my paycheque." If you get paid, she says, "That our paycheque."<br /><br />If you mention how nice she looks, it's ***ual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. <br /><br />If you thump her, it's wife bashing. If she thumps you, it's self-defense.<br /><br />If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.<br /><br />If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favoUr.<br /><br />If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're ***ist. If you don't, you're unromantic.<br /><br />If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.<br /><br />If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.<br /><br />If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you're not, you're not ambitious.<br /><br />If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore. <br /><br />If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.<br /><br /><b><i>No wonder men die before women do....they want to! </i> </b> <br /><br /><font size="1">source<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />ffice-humour.co.uk/</font id="size1">
  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    Poor man [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  3. ranjitjain New Member

    Really good Satya[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  4. ghemant Moderator

    <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri Goswami<br />
  5. benwilson New Member

    nice one <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';-)' /><br /><br />'I reject your reality and substitute my own' - Adam Savage
  6. x002548 New Member

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