SQL Server Performance

What next....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Sep 30, 2005.

  1. satya Moderator

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN...
    • Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
    • You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
    • All of your friends have an @ in their names.
    • You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Excite.
    • You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
    • You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
    • The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
    • You forget what year it is.
    • You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

    Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a virus?"
    Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'."
    Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'."
    Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key."
    Customer: "Oh." "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

    WINDOWS XP ERROR MESSAGES

    A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

    • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
    • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
    • BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
    • Close your eyes and press escape three times.
    • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
    • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
    • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
    • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
    • Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
    • Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"


  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    I was beginning to wonder, if today really is Friday since no-one so far has posted some Friday funnies. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Ich unterstütze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>) <br />
  3. Madhivanan Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />I was beginning to wonder, if today really is Friday since no-one so far has posted some Friday funnies. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Ich unterstütze PASS Deutschland e.V. <a target="_blank" href=http://www.sqlpass.de>http://www.sqlpass.de</a>) <br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />May be having fun somewhere [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  4. satya Moderator

    Its been very busy all this week at my work place, so I'm really looking forward for this friday.

    Satya SKJ
    Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com/forum
    This posting is provided “AS IS” with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing.
  5. ranjitjain New Member

    Even I waited for this friday since Monday as I'm gonna have a Blast at Party as the client has been here of my project.
    Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. mmarovic Active Member

    I always wait for Friday since Monday <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />
  7. ghemant Moderator

    HA ha ha <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';-)' /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri Goswami<br />

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