SQL Server Performance

A good day for this....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by Luis Martin, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. Luis Martin Moderator

    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
    David Bissonette


    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    Sacha Guitry


    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    Hemant Joshi


    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    Socrates


    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
    Dumas


    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
    Sigmund Freud


    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    Anonymous


    "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
    Henny Youngman


    "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
    Sam Kinison


    "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
    James Holt McGavran


    "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
    Patrick Murray


    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    Nash


    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
    Anonymous


    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    Henny Youngman


    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    Rodney Dangerfield


    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    Milton Berle


    Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
    Anonymous

    .

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  2. ghemant Moderator

    How much marriage life experience they have to say this !!!! [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [xx(] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />)]<br />LOL <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />I like these quotes <br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by LuisMartin</i><br /><br />By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.<br />Socrates<br /><br />The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?<br />Sigmund Freud<br /><br />I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.<br />Anonymous<br /><br />Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming<br />1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,<br />2. Whenever you're right, shut up.<br />Nash<br /><br />The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...<br />Anonymous<br />--- This is hellerious [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />MS SQL Server MVP<br />-------------------------<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br /><br /<a target="_blank" href=http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com>http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com</a>
  3. khtan New Member

    How appropriate. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font color="blue"><font size="1"><i>KH</i></font id="size1"></font id="blue">
  4. ranjitjain New Member

    Very True[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]
  5. satya Moderator

    35 years of Marriage expereince for Luis [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing. <hr noshade size="1">The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  6. Madhivanan Moderator

    And which is your favourite one Luis? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  7. Luis Martin Moderator

    This one:

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    Nash


    Very true.

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    Should we take this as deep insights into your emotional situation right now, Luis? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  9. Luis Martin Moderator

    Same woman since 1969....., when I think this.....[:I]

    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  10. Luis Martin Moderator

    My wife and I have 4 wonderful moments in our live.

    1) Miranda born in 1976.
    2) Julia born in 1978.
    3) Miranda left home to live alone in 2002.
    4) Julia left home to live alone in 2004.


    Some time, in the future, you will understand what 3) and 4) means.



    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  11. FrankKalis Moderator

    Luis, you make me wonder, if you are serious now or not.

    --
    Frank Kalis
    Moderator
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Webmaster:http://www.insidesql.de
  12. satya Moderator

    True, Luis words sounds like our lives 'few' future facts in our life for us.
    Hats off, Senor!

    I like this
    quote:
    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together

    Satya SKJ
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com
    This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing. The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.
  13. Luis Martin Moderator

    quote:Originally posted by FrankKalis

    Luis, you make me wonder, if you are serious now or not.

    --
    Frank Kalis
    Moderator
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Webmaster:http://www.insidesql.de

    After all schools (from kinder garden to university, English degree, etc.), all boyfriends,
    all nights waiting for hers to back home after any party, all piercings (hate that), etc., finally they find a job, rent an apartment, left home and you and your wife can walk nude again!!!!!.

    I love my daughters but is nice to be at home in the same way you begin your marriage.

    Is life, that is all about it.

    This is when I would to have the same English level than you Frank. Lack of words to write what I feel.





    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  14. alzdba Member

    the bigest lie my mother told me :<br />Once you're maried, you can do whatever you want [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />!][V]
  15. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by LuisMartin</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />Luis, you make me wonder, if you are serious now or not.<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />After all schools (from kinder garden to university, English degree, etc.), all boyfriends,<br />all nights waiting for hers to back home after any party, all piercings (hate that), etc., finally they find a job, rent an apartment, left home and you and your wife can walk nude again!!!!!.<br /><br />I love my daughters but is nice to be at home in the same way you begin your marriage.<br /><br />Is life, that is all about it.<br /><br />This is when I would to have the same English level than you Frank. Lack of words to write what I feel. <br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Luis, don't worry. Now I know exactly what you want to express. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br />I thought your remarks were aimed at your wife and your marriage.<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  16. khtan New Member

    i think you must have heard it wrongly<br /><br /><i>Once you're maried, you can<font color="red">not</font id="red"> do whatever you want</i><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><br /><font color="blue"><font size="1"><i>KH</i></font id="size1"></font id="blue">
  17. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by alzdba</i><br /><br />the bigest lie my mother told me :<br />Once you're maried, you can do whatever you want [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />!][V]<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />I don't understand. Your mother IS correct. It's only that then your wife tells you what you have to want to. And see, all of a sudden you want that to and you get it. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  18. madhuottapalam New Member

    this is again one side of another coin... have any one of us... ever thought of what we have done/doing to our parents... All these perception changes with the time/person... tomorrow Miranda and Julia may make you (us) proud by their achievement ... at that day we may feel otherwise....
  19. Luis Martin Moderator

    quote:Originally posted by madhuottapalam

    this is again one side of another coin... have any one of us... ever thought of what we have done/doing to our parents... All these perception changes with the time/person... tomorrow Miranda and Julia may make you (us) proud by their achievement ... at that day we may feel otherwise....

    True.

    From 0 to 16 years you are the best father in the word.
    From 16 to 25 you are an old man who don't understand anything.
    From 25 to 35 you some times you are great some times you don't.
    After 35 they say, my old man was right all the time!!!.

    I think any children mast came with a book like SQL Karen. Unfortunately the don't.


    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  20. ndinakar Member

    >>Once you're maried, you cannot do whatever you want

    I was gonna say the same thing. He probably forgot the most important key word.

    ***********************
    Dinakar Nethi
    SQL Server MVP
    ***********************
  21. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    Interesting insights. Especially for the bachelors our there [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
  22. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Interesting insights. Especially for the bachelors our there [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />So, someone like you??? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  23. satya Moderator

    [8D]Its a fact as it speaks on your quote attachment about Stevie wonder[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br />But on this matter I believe you warranty matches for accuracy.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by LuisMartin</i><br />From 0 to 16 years you are the best father in the word.<br />From 16 to 25 you are an old man who don't understand anything.<br />From 25 to 35 you some times you are great some times you don't.<br />After 35 they say, my old man was right all the time!!!.<br /><br />I think any children mast came with a book like SQL Karen. Unfortunately the don't.<br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
  24. Luis Martin Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />[8D]Its a fact as it speaks on your quote attachment about Stevie wonder[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br />But on this matter I believe you warranty matches for accuracy.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by LuisMartin</i><br />From 0 to 16 years you are the best father in the word.<br />From 16 to 25 you are an old man who don't understand anything.<br />From 25 to 35 you some times you are great some times you don't.<br />After 35 they say, my old man was right all the time!!!.<br /><br />I think any children mast came with a book like SQL Karen. Unfortunately the don't.<br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br />You can bet on this[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  25. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Interesting insights. Especially for the bachelors our there [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />So, someone like you??? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />I am the chronic type of them, atleast for the time being [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
  26. alzdba Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />I don't understand. Your mother IS correct. It's only that then your wife tells you what you have to want to. And see, all of a sudden you want that to and you get it. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Indeed she was. She cleared out her position [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br />
  27. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  28. CanadaDBA New Member

    It seems this is a male forum! Ladies either do not exist on this forum or they are silent. No comment from their side. I am getting worry... <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />CanadaDBA
  29. FrankKalis Moderator

    We used to have at least 2 ladies who posted regularly here, but unfortunately they disappeared. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  30. ghemant Moderator

  31. Luis Martin Moderator

    Reading that thread....
    Bambola from Italy, Chris from Canada and Gaurav from USA. What a petty they don't post anymore.


    Luis Martin
    Moderator
    SQL-Server-Performance.com

    All in Love is Fair
    Stevie Wonder


    All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.



  32. ghemant Moderator

    Hmmmmmmm,
    well i PM to GAURAV but didn't get the response from him...

    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    MS SQL Server MVP
    -------------------------
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami

    http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com
  33. satya Moderator

    Bambola has left for another job and unable to post or spare time on forums, as I've heard from her during last year.
    Chris too very busy with managing lots of BI managed process at her organisation.

    Gaurav is also occupied with his work chores, I have met him during the MVP global summit in USA and he conveyed regards to Luis especially.

    Satya SKJ
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator
    http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com
    This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of knowledge sharing. The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.

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