SQL Server Performance

F F F

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, May 4, 2007.

  1. satya Moderator

    An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. 'All set back here, Captain,' came the reply, 'except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.


    quote: received from a fun website....
    FIVE RULES FOR ALL MALES TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE


    1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, is a good cook, cleans and has a well paid job.

    2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh and laughs at your jokes.

    3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

    4. It's important to have a woman who is superb in bed and who likes to be with you.

    5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.


    One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
    He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
    After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
    "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you`re a moron?" the professor asked.
    The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn`t want to see you standing there all by yourself."

    IF
    1 = 5
    2 = 25
    3 = 125
    4 = 625
    5 = ?

    Think…
  2. Adriaan New Member

    Satya, I didn't get the last joke - assuming there is one.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]
  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    I'll bite on the last one: <br />5 = 3125<br /><br />..unless I miss something obvious, of course. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  4. satya Moderator

    Adriaan<br />Its not a joke, I was amused by the calculation so thought just present here along with fun, Frank is right as every time you multiply the result with 5. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />].<br /><br /><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing. <hr noshade size="1">The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  5. Adriaan New Member

    For x >= 0 and n > 1:

    (x^n) = (((x^(n-1))/2) * x * n)

    ... I told you maths is my weak point - it should be:

    (x^n) = (((x^(n-1))/n) * x * n)

  6. FrankKalis Moderator

    What did you copy that from? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  7. Adriaan New Member

    I just figured it out, would you believe it - and you should know by now that maths are my weak point.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />It just caught my eye -<br /><br />25<br />125 --- 12.5 = 25/2<br />625 --- 62.5 = 125/2<br /><br />Double-checked what happens for 0, and what happens for other values of x, et voilà.
  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    Two ways to apporach the same result. Luis can surely show the prove. I'm going home now. Enjoy your weekend! [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  9. Luis Martin Moderator

    About woman, excellent[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />].<br /><br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided �AS IS� with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  10. Madhivanan Moderator

    5=1

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  11. satya Moderator

    Universal rule & truth [}<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Luis Martin</i><br /><br />About woman, excellent[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />].<br /><br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided �AS IS� with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
  12. Madhivanan Moderator

    what does FFF stand for? [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  13. Adriaan New Member

    F F = Friday Funnies

    F F F = ??? - beats me ...[B)]
  14. Luis Martin Moderator

    Well, could be worst:<br />15 15 15[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">All in Love is Fair <br />Stevie Wonder<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided �AS IS� with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  15. satya Moderator

    F F F<br />Further Friday Funnies, as Madhi already started a thread with FF [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br /><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Writer, Contributing Editor & Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing. <hr noshade size="1">The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  16. ndinakar Member

    oh well..while we are on friday fun..heres some more:

    Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
    - Albert Einstein

    The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you meet a beautiful girl .
    - Uzair Sait

    The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
    - Franklin P. Jones

    We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
    - Jean Cocturan

    It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
    - Darrin Weinberg

    Life is pleasant.
    Death is peaceful.
    It's the transition that's troublesome.

    Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

    Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

    It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

    Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

    Alcohol doesn't solve any problems , but then again, neither does milk.

    Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

    Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

    The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

    Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia !

    ***********************
    Dinakar Nethi
    SQL Server MVP
    ***********************
    http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/dinakar/
  17. Madhivanan Moderator

    Seems Philosophy and not Fun [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail

Share This Page