SQL Server Performance

F1 fun ---- friday again

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by satya, Sep 8, 2006.

  1. satya Moderator

    Q: What is the difference between Ralf Schumacher and God? <br />A: God knows he is not Ralf Schumacher.<br /><br />Q: What's the difference between Jacques Villeneuve and a bus driver?<br />A: One is a highly skilled professional driver, and the other is in Formula 1.<br /><br />A snail was employed to race for Williams but because he was a snail he wasn't allowed a number on his car so instead used the letter 'S' At his first Grand Prix the snail excelled, and at the moment he took first place the commentator screamed out "And look at that Ess-Car Go!"<br /><br />Schumi and DC are in a desert. Evening comes, they set up their tent. Both go to sleep. DC wakes up in the middle of the night. Schumi isn't in the tent. He can hear something coming from outside the tent. DC peeps out and sees Schumi running around the tent like crazy, a big lion after him... <br />DC: Run faster, he's gonna catch you! Schumi: Don't worry, I lead by three laps... <br /><br />'Michael Schumachers wife says she doesn't want Turkey for Christmas this year, so he's going to buy her Denmark instead.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Q:Whats the difference between Damon and Tiger Woods?<br />A: Tiger can drive further than 200 yards!!!! <hr noshade size="1"><br /><br />World Motor Sport Council has decided that Microsoft (Yes, that Microsoft. Really.) will be the official supplier of engine control units under the new rules, which go into effect for the 2008 season.<br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br />
  2. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  3. Adriaan New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]
  4. ghemant Moderator

    LOL

    Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ghemant@gmail.com
    "Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami
    ------------------------
    http://hemantgirisgoswami.blogspot.com
  5. Madhivanan Moderator

    ROTFL

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  6. satya Moderator

    Its sad to know that F1's most successful driver will hang up his helmet next month after admitting he could not be sure of maintaining the 'winning' standards --- that is Michael Schumacher.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center>
  7. Adriaan New Member

    Glad to see him go, actually. Annoying personality, not quite the sportsman you would expect a seasoned and laureled champion to be.
  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    F1 is actually yet another sport I'm not willing to understand. Grown-up men drive as fast as they can around in circles, pollute the air, produce hell of a noise and millions around the globe go crazy. This is just plain ridiculous to me.

    --
    Frank Kalis
    Moderator
    Microsoft SQL Server MVP
    Webmaster:http://www.insidesql.de
  9. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />F1 is actually yet another sport I'm not willing to understand. Grown-up men drive as fast as they can around in circles, pollute the air, produce hell of a noise and millions around the globe go crazy. This is just plain ridiculous to me.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Just like Football, where 23 men run behind a single ball [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
  10. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />F1 is actually yet another sport I'm not willing to understand. Grown-up men drive as fast as they can around in circles, pollute the air, produce hell of a noise and millions around the globe go crazy. This is just plain ridiculous to me.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Just like Football, where 23 men run behind a single ball [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Absolutely, or Cricket.... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />)]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  11. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />F1 is actually yet another sport I'm not willing to understand. Grown-up men drive as fast as they can around in circles, pollute the air, produce hell of a noise and millions around the globe go crazy. This is just plain ridiculous to me.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Just like Football, where 23 men run behind a single ball [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Absolutely, or Cricket.... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />)]<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Exactly, Sometime they even play continuosly for five days and most of the time without any result [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
  12. Adriaan New Member

    Roji,

    If you start counting like that, it's 25.

    Two sides of eleven players and the referee indeed add up to 23. But if you include the referee, you must also add the two linesmen who run up-and-down the sideline to keep up with the last defender. The fourth official doesn't move along with the flow of the game, which is the same reason why the coaches don't count.

    Note that we're not counting streakers.
  13. chiragkhabaria New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />Its sad to know that F1's most successful driver will hang up his helmet next month after admitting he could not be sure of maintaining the 'winning' standards --- that is Michael Schumacher.[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><br /><hr noshade size="1"><b>Satya SKJ</b><br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Contributing Editor & Forums Moderator<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com>http://www.SQL-Server-Performance.Com</a><br /><center><font color="teal"><font size="1">This posting is provided AS IS with no rights for the sake of <i>knowledge sharing.</i></font id="size1"></font id="teal"></center><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Oh Yeah its sad, yesterday he toped in Italian Grand Prix.. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br /> Roji,<br /><br />If you start counting like that, it's 25.<br /><br />Two sides of eleven players and the referee indeed add up to 23. But if you include the referee, you must also add the two linesmen who run up-and-down the sideline to keep up with the last defender. The fourth official doesn't move along with the flow of the game, which is the same reason why the coaches don't count.<br /><br />Note that we're not counting streakers.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] and 2 coaches too who are always on your tose shotting...<br /><br />Aha Frank you play Cricket..[?]<br /><br />Chirag
  14. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by chiragkhabaria</i><br /><br />Aha Frank you play Cricket..[?]<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />LOL. No, not really. <br />I just thought I'd mention Cricket because through this forum I picked up that Indians seems to kind of crazy about that sport. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  15. satya Moderator

    ... and sometimes with ball tampering allegations [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />] ..walking out from match.<br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />F1 is actually yet another sport I'm not willing to understand. Grown-up men drive as fast as they can around in circles, pollute the air, produce hell of a noise and millions around the globe go crazy. This is just plain ridiculous to me.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Just like Football, where 23 men run behind a single ball [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Absolutely, or Cricket.... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />)]<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Exactly, Sometime they even play continuosly for five days and most of the time without any result [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
  16. chiragkhabaria New Member

    quote:I just thought I'd mention Cricket because through this forum I picked up that Indians seems to kind of crazy about that sport.
    Yups... but not only in India, you can say in Sub-Continent i.e India ,Pakistan Sri Lanka..



    Chirag
  17. Madhivanan Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Adriaan</i><br /><br />Roji,<br /><br />If you start counting like that, it's 25.<br /><br />Two sides of eleven players and the referee indeed add up to 23. But if you include the referee, you must also add the two linesmen who run up-and-down the sideline to keep up with the last defender. The fourth official doesn't move along with the flow of the game, which is the same reason why the coaches don't count.<br /><br />Note that we're not counting streakers.<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Also include substitutes [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Frank, Indeed you made a good point<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  18. Adriaan New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Also include substitutes [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Another situation with Schroedinger's cat, I think. You can only bring on a substitute after another player has left the field. So at any given time there are no more than 11 players per side on the pitch.<br /><br />Can you tell it's Monday again?<br />
  19. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />Can you tell it's Monday again?<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Yes, and a bad monday it was indeed. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
  20. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><br />Can you tell it's Monday again?<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Yes, and a bad monday it was indeed. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />As bad as just any other Monday. BTW its Tuesday morning here.<br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
  21. Adriaan New Member

    quote:As bad as just any other Monday. BTW its Tuesday morning here.
    And still Monday in other parts of the world - it just won't let go ...

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