SQL Server Performance

HOW 2 IDENTIFY CITIES IN INDIA

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by ranjitjain, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. ranjitjain New Member

    Scenario 1<br /><br />Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and<br />They start arguing about who's right.<br /><br /><br />You are in Kolkata[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 2<br /><br />Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and<br />walks on.<br /><br />That's Mumbai[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 3<br /><br />Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make<br />peace.The first two get together & beat him up.<br /><br />That's Delhi[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 4<br /><br />Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along<br />And quietly opens a Tea-stall<br /><br />That's Ahmedabad.[B)]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 5<br /><br />Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software<br />Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug<br />in the program.<br /><br />That's Bangalore[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 6<br /><br />Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along<br />And quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace<br />comes in.<br />(A lady who is politically very sound and everyone in that state calls her "AMMA" i.e. MOM)<br />That's Chennai.[:0]<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 7<br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.<br />All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home<br />being friends.<br /><br />You are in Goa<br /><br />____________ _________ _<br /><br />Scenario 8<br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their<br />Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />You are DEFINITELY IN Punjab <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br />[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]
    ranjitjain, Oct 20, 2006
    #2

  2. Madhivanan Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
    Madhivanan, Oct 20, 2006
    #2

  3. FrankKalis Moderator

    Hm, must be an Indian insider joke...[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
    FrankKalis, Oct 21, 2006
    #2

  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br />Hm, must be an Indian insider joke...[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-5.gif' alt=';)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />Yes it is [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
    Madhivanan, Oct 22, 2006
    #2

  5. Roji. P. Thomas New Member

    Two guys are fighting. Suddenly a bunch of guys surround them with camera and the channels will start live telecast. And for every single hit, they will take a commercial break.<br />That is Trivandrum <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br />
    Roji. P. Thomas, Oct 22, 2006
    #2

  6. Madhivanan Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Suddenly a bunch of guys surround them with camera and the channels will start live telecast. And for every single hit, they will take a commercial break.<br />That is Trivandrum <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br /><br />Roji. P. Thomas<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://toponewithties.blogspot.com>http://toponewithties.blogspot.com</a><br /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />ROTFL<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
    Madhivanan, Oct 22, 2006
    #2

  7. Akthar New Member

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />AKTHAR
    Akthar, Oct 23, 2006
    #2

  8. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Suddenly a bunch of guys surround them with camera and the channels will start live telecast. And for every single hit, they will take a commercial break.<br />That is Trivandrum <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />That's where they made these "Bollywood" movies?<br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
    FrankKalis, Oct 23, 2006
    #2

  9. ramkumar.mu New Member

    But, in London, i have seen lot many kids doing all kinda stuff that men do in India...

    Thanks,
    Ram

    "It is easy to write code for a spec and walk in water, provided, both are freezed..."
    ramkumar.mu, Oct 23, 2006
    #2

  10. satya Moderator

    Hm, seems you have a good knowledge of Bollywood on top of SQL Server [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />].<br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Suddenly a bunch of guys surround them with camera and the channels will start live telecast. And for every single hit, they will take a commercial break.<br />That is Trivandrum <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />That's where they made these "Bollywood" movies?<br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
    satya, Oct 24, 2006
    #2

  11. FrankKalis Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by satya</i><br /><br />Hm, seems you have a good knowledge of Bollywood on top of SQL Server [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />].<br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by FrankKalis</i><br /><br /><blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Roji. P. Thomas</i><br /><br />Two guys are fighting. Suddenly a bunch of guys surround them with camera and the channels will start live telecast. And for every single hit, they will take a commercial break.<br />That is Trivandrum <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />That's where they made these "Bollywood" movies?<br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br />No. Actually not. I try to stay from these movies. Just like I do from their German pendants. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-3.gif' alt=':eek:' />)]<br /><br /><br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
    FrankKalis, Oct 24, 2006
    #2

  12. Madhivanan Moderator

    >>No. Actually not. I try to stay from these movies. Just like I do from their German pendants.

    So you dont see movies?

    Madhivanan

    Failing to plan is Planning to fail
    Madhivanan, Oct 24, 2006
    #2

  13. FrankKalis Moderator

    Yes, I do. Recently I watched a brilliant movie "Kill Bill". No deeper sense in the plot, but lots of artificial blood... [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />I also like movies like<br /><br />- Lord of the rings<br />- From dusk till dawn<br />- The last samurai<br />- ...<br /><br />But typically I prefer reading a book or hacking my laptop over watching TV. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Moderator<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br />Webmaster:<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a>
    FrankKalis, Oct 24, 2006
    #2

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