SQL Server Performance

Is DBA a lonely job?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side of Being a DBA' started by Luis Martin, Jan 8, 2006.

  1. Luis Martin Moderator

    Let#%92s find out.<br /><br />Situation 1:<br /><br />You have a party in a friend of yours. You meet new people there and, because you are politic, begin to talk with a couple of guys.<br />So, you or other one begins to ask: what do you do for living?<br />One said I#%92m architect. <br />Oh! What are you doing now? <br />I#%92m working in new house project. <br />Ok. What about you?<br />I#%92m Medicine Doctor. <br />What specialty?<br />Gynecology he said (Nice one)[8D].<br />At this point everybody had an idea what means to be and architect or doctor.<br />Now is your turn, and you?<br />I#%92m Database Administrator.<br />Nobody will ask anything.<br />And if any ask, you need at least 3 hours.<br /><br />Situation 2:<br /><br />You are married (same thing whit gird friend).<br />She is Veterinary medicine.<br />She came to home lately, and you ask to her: How was your day honey?<br />It was a hard day. Three dogs with parasites, and two cats with arthritis.<br />You can understand the problem.<br />But if you came late and she asks you: How was your day darling?<br />Terrible, some guy wrote query and take 3 minutes to run. I take a look of execution plan and I find a lot of read-ahead reads. Tomorrow I have to choose some index to fix it. Yes, may be a non cluster index.<br />Now your wife dials 911 and said: Please send me and ambulance, my husband is crazy[<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />].<br /><br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  2. ghemant Moderator

    this happens some time [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-11.gif' alt='8)' />][:0][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-6.gif' alt=':(' />]<br /><br /><br />Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />ghemant@gmail.com<br />"Humans don't have Caliber to PASS TIME , Time it self Pass or Fail Humans" - by Hemantgiri S. Goswami<br />
  3. benwilson New Member

    when i tell people i am a DBA, i often get replies like 'Ah, so your a computer nerd.'

    'I reject your reality and substitute my own' - Adam Savage
  4. Madhivanan Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Madhivanan<br /><br />Failing to plan is Planning to fail
  5. FrankKalis Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-4.gif' alt=':p' />]<br /><br />--<br />Frank Kalis<br />Microsoft SQL Server MVP<br /<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de>http://www.insidesql.de</a><br />Heute schon gebloggt?<a target="_blank" href=http://www.insidesql.de/blogs>http://www.insidesql.de/blogs</a><br />
  6. Haywood New Member

    Once people find out what I do, they immediately ask "So, you can fix my computer?" To which I answer back "Only if your last computer cost 45K+ and you can afford my rates of $150/hr w/3hr minimum". Usually gets quiet after that. <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />
  7. Luis Martin Moderator

    <blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Haywood</i><br /><br />Once people find out what I do, they immediately ask "So, you can fix my computer?" To which I answer back "Only if your last computer cost 45K+ and you can afford my rates of $150/hr w/3hr minimum". Usually gets quiet after that. <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"><br /><br />Yes, and when you go away they say: My nephew do it for nothing.[}<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />
  8. Haywood New Member

    That's exactly the point, I don't <b><i>want</b></i> to fix someones workstation. I don't even fix my own anymore, I just hand them back to the helpdesk and get a new one. <img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' /><br /><br />
  9. mmarovic Active Member

    Haywood: A good approach. [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-1.gif' alt=':)' />]<br /><br />Luis: Good point. Right now I work as an consultant on a system integration project. Before that I worked as an "database engineer" which was something like qa dba. When my wife introduce me she says that I am database specialist. To people without any IT knowledge I translate it as "a programmer". For IT people I tried to explain once or twice that I am not exactly DBA, but now I give up and agree with their interpretation. On top of that I love when conversation goes to other topic after introduction because conversation abnout my job is really boring.
  10. RecklessFable New Member

    At parties, I tell people I clean port-a-johns. The conversation shifts quickly after that.

    My wife asked me what she should tell people I do. I told her to tell them that I'm the guy that holds onto all their credit card data and passes it on to my off-shore friends.

    You just got SQL Served
  11. Luis Martin Moderator

    [<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />][<img src='/community/emoticons/emotion-2.gif' alt=':D' />]<br /><br />Luis Martin<br />Moderator<br />SQL-Server-Performance.com<br /><br /><font size="1">Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.<br />Leonardo Da Vinci<br /></font id="size1"><br /><font size="1"> Nunca esperes el reconocimiento de tus hijos, eso ocurrirá luego de tu muerte<br /></font id="size1"><br /><br /><font size="1">All postings are provided “AS IS” with no warranties for accuracy.</font id="size1"><br /><br /><br /><br />

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